Choices.

Sometimes I feel fairly hopeless in being able to evaluate and reflect upon my life. I will try my best. Last week was awful for me...I felt lonely and uncertain about my choice in moving to Oregon. I felt that I wasn't or couldn't be doing anything at work, but the reality is that there is always something to do and I just needed to get in the mindset. My boss has been sick, but I had the chance to talk to her Monday morning and feel good about the work I can do in the next few weeks. I am trying to remember how I felt when I first moved to Colorado, and this is pretty much how it was. I feel much better prepared this time around though. I only cried myself to sleep for a few nights and I'm starting to see how I can get my act together.

So, why did I move to Colorado? And why did I move to Oregon? Let's see...I wanted the experience of working with kids and the School-Based Mentor position sounded amazing. I felt the need to move away from Illinois to experience life in new ways. I have always been interested in travel, but have never been able to financially. AmeriCorps has allowed me to live in Steamboat Springs and learn to ski/snowboard/rock climb/love the outdoors. I've been able to work with kids in differing capacities and have both school and camp experience. Most of all, I know what I'm supposed to do. Work with kids in a counseling capacity. There is so much for me to learn still : )

So, Oregon. I felt stuck in Steamboat after extending my SBM job as far as I could. I had the opportunity to work for the City in the after school program and I probably could have continued working for the hotel AND maybe could have been a bus driver too. But where was that going to get me? I would have been in a beautiful place with a few good friends, but with limited opportunity for professional growth. I did not want to move to the Front Range. Cities and suburban sprawl are no longer my thing. I visited friends in Oregon during my break in April and fell in love. Mountains, valleys, coast...green green green.

Right now I'm struggling with my job. It was an excellent way to get out here, but not what I really want to be doing. So, I'm actively looking for jobs. Some of the places that wouldn't interview me before I moved here are still hiring. The type of jobs I'm looking for (residential counselor) have HIGH turnover because it's hard to work with troubled kids. I want the case management and residential services experience.

I feel like I am finally getting my confidence back and really becoming the person I want to be, minus that whole breakdown thing last week hehe.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman